Review: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Platform: Playstation 3

Developer: Double Helix

Publisher: Electronic Arts

# of Players: 1-2

Rating: T (Teen)

Official Site

Rating: C+

If you go into G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra expecting some sort of Tom Clancy-ish tactical action experience or a Gears of War inspired "big" action game, you'll be sitting dazed in front of your TV with your jaw on the floor wondering just what the heck happened on your way home from the game store. On the other hand, if you remember pumping quarter after quarter into classic arcade run 'n guns such as Front Line, Ikari Warriors, MERCS, Midnight Resistance, Gain Ground and yup, Contra, you'll be sitting in front of your TV with a buddy having a total blast. The game isn't perfect (nor as memorable as the above titles), but once you realize it works fine as a current gen homage to those hits, you may as well install a coin drop and change machine on your Playstation 3 and enjoy the ride a few times.

The game's stages pretty much consist of going from points A to B, blasting hordes of COBRA troops, tanks and flying enemies. Blowing the hell out of as much destructible real estate as possible is a main goal as you track down and rescue your fellow Joes who've been kidnapped away to different locations. There are bunch of other Trophy-earning goals here, but those missions also generally involve blowing lots of stuff up and dispatching more COBRA goons with extreme (and bloodless) prejudice. There are also vehicles to drive (and yup, blow more stuff up with), but we'll get to those sections later, as they're one of the problem areas the game hits you with.

The story takes place after the events of the film, so it's absolutely going to appeal to those who really liked what they saw on screen and want something a lot more interactive. And you're certainly getting that for your gaming dollar, folks. Everything from the static game camera, unlimited ammo, big score counters and multiplier system scream "ARCADE GAME" in big flashing neon lights. You start out with two characters (Scarlett and Heavy Duty) and after a quick tutorial that spell out how to move and shoot, you're going to be pressing that fire button for quite some time. COBRA troops, score-ups hidden in trees, barrels, certain structures and more are all fair game for your fearsome firepower. Punches and kicks also work wonders here, as certain environmental objects smaller than a COBRA base structure will explode into bits when struck.

As you plow through the levels, a checkpoint system tallies up your score and by earning enough points, you gain medals which can be used to unlock new characters once you've located them. Blowing away baddies with style and collecting certain pickups builds up a gauge in the center of the screen. Once it's full, a press of the Triangle button sends you into Accelerator Suit mode , where you and your buddy are invincible for a brief period and anything COBRA employed or operated is pretty much toast. Once that power (and the rousing rendition of the classic G.I Joe theme) is used up, it's back to normal. Smart players will save the Suit power for bosses or mid-level toughs that can obliterate your health in a few shots or swipes.

In a neat touch, the game's easiest difficulty (Casual) restricts your medal totals while also locking away the ability to achieve the highest score ranking, G.I. Joe. You'll have to man up and play through the game on the harder modes in order to earn the maximum medals and lock in your highest score. Playing solo is fun for a bit, but sometimes you AI buddy tends to shoot at barriers or other stuff instead of enemies. With a live body on the couch next to you, you're going to fly through most areas with the exception of a few boss battles or against certain pesky shielded enemies and nasty ninjas that can be a persistent pain in the posterior if they get up close and personal too often.

There's also basic "cover" system here that's used not only to keep your Joes from getting shot up, you'll also regain health quickly by fonding something to duck behind for a second or two. Some cover can be destroyed, some can't and yes, you'll find yourself heading for the indestructible stuff once you can discern between the two. In total, there are 12 Joes to unlock plus four COBRA operatives you can eventually play as. It's good to be bad every once in a while and the COBRA missions are actually amusing to play from their perspective. Speaking of amusing, the unlockable 1980's PSA's are a treat and you'll see that the game has a bit of a sense of humor as well. When you unlock some level data, it shows up as a "Playset," which should definitely deflate your "action figure" nostalgia down a notch or three.

Presentation-wise, don't expect any "Best Graphics" awards rolling in at year's end. You're getting a basic-looking PS3 experience with nary a bell nor whistle in sight. I'm no graphics whore, so I didn't mind at all - the visuals are clean and get the job done. Nevertheless, I'm actually really curious to play the PlayStation 2 and Wii versions just to see if Double Helix used the same art assets. At least the explosions look nice with all that smoke and debris flying into the air. Character models are based on the actors from the movie and have some nice animations when leaping over cover points. Unfortunately, you never really get close enough to check out your Joes save for a few cut scenes where you see a bit more detail on certain heroes or COBRA bosses. Levels are linear and consist of Arctic, Desert and Jungle varieties (no, there's no mine cart level) usually with a base of some sort or other to infiltrate along with plenty of generators to blow up and panels to activate.

The music is actually the best thing about the sound production. It's heroic orchestral stuff most of the time and you get that aforementioned classic G.I. Joe theme playing for a brief period when those Accelerator Suits go into action. You know when music is going to be tops when it gets its own movie and composer interview already unlocked when you initially fire up the game. Go watch that clip before you play, as it'll pump you up even more for the game. The voice acting is average - not great, not bad. Again, it gets the job done and the kids will be bouncing up and down waiting to start all the shooting and blowing up of stuff during the brief dialog sections.

The game's bad points start with the inflexible camera, occasional glitches such as parts of some levels not loading up (which has you running in place and shooting at a backdrop) and end with the awful vehicle controls. The camera is locked down, but sort of switches angles at certain points, which doesn't work as well as it should. If you're running toward enemies in a direct line, it's fine. If you come to a wall and and turn back to snag a score-up or hidden pickup, you'll either be running toward the screen or watch as the camera sloooowly turns around to show you where you're headed. If the game was a top-down experience like Sigma Team's Alien Shooter games, this might have worked out better. As it is, not being able to see around a corner or having to get shot up by enemies off screen can make the game a bit frustrating on Hardcore difficulty.

As for the driving issues, there are two settings for vehicle control in the options and no matter which one you select, it feels as if there's a chubby eight-year old with his or her sticky hand on top of that truck steering it back and forth into walls and enemies as you're merely trying to go in a straight line. I didn't mention Metal Slug in that list of classic arcade games at the start of this review, but now that I think about it, driving in Metal Slug is a lot more enjoyable than driving here. Some folks may gripe about the lack of online play, but I sure won't - the game is a pure side by side shoot 'em up that will get you grinning if you're a fan of old school arcade bliss.

As I mentioned before, if you try and tack anything resembling "serious game" onto what's here, you're setting yourself up for Major Disappointment (and no, that's not a hidden character). This is especially true if you're an adult who latched onto the cartoon and toy line back in the day and somehow thought that the movie would be some sort of amazing cinematic masterpiece that could sit alongside Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings trilogy or something like that. Nope - your girlfriend or wife will probably still think you're a loser who plays with "Barbies for boys," (as I recall one spouse of a buddy of mine calling his big collection of sealed GI Joe figures a few years back). Just don't get into a tiff about her own childhood hobbies or she'll go after your WWF/WWE stash next. Ouch.

On the other hand, if you've got kids you want to get into the whole "Yo Joe!" deal, well... you're pretty much the best dad in the world if you happen to take that kid or kids to the movie and then off to the game store afterward. That pretty much sums it up. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra isn't the worst game you'll play at all, but it's also not one of the best either. Average doesn't mean terrible in this case - it just means a bit more polish next time to draw in an even wider audience. If there's a sequel to the film (and I'm thinking there will be, given the early box office), the next game should definitely ditch the automatic camera system, have the vehicles control better and add a lot more level variety for starters. I may not make games for a living, but I certainly know what makes better games more lively.