Wednesday, December 22, 2010

How to Save Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark? Turn On the Camera, Julie...

While I haven't been to a Broadway show in decades, you can't go twenty minutes or so here in NYC without hearing or reading some more awful news about the show's numerous problems. Forget my own opinions about bringing such a risky project to life at such a huge expense during tough economic times and the hugely inflated but highly creative egos behind the show's development. I'm more concerned about stopping this overblown train wreck before there's a death on stage or off. Given the history accidents in some preview performances and the fact that this is a live show of such length and scope with never-before seen wire effects taking place every night means it's only a matter of when and how a fatal incident occurs.

However, I think there's a way to "save" the show and possibly recoup some of the production costs while turning an actual profit... eventually.

First: Julie Taymor needs to FILM the show (or put together a full length version of the show from performances where no one has fallen of anything they shouldn't have) in 3D, IMAX 3D, or whatever else will make the show jump off the screen. Get stunt people where needed and use the main actors where they'll be be needed for close-ups and such.

Second: close the show after the filming is done, again, before someone dies in a ridiculously nasty manner.

Enhance the film with digital effects if it needs it and get it into theaters for next year's holiday season. The box-office should be decent, provided viewers know it's a completely different vision than the Spider-Man movies. Along this time line, sell the exclusive broadcast rights to it for a year (that should net a few more million) and a few months or so after the cable broadcast, release the performance on 3D Blu-Ray with a ton of special features and bonus content. Also, release the soundtrack either as a download or actual CD with some sort of special packaging at some earlier point while all this is going on.

Fourth: For those who've bought tickets, refund their money along with a voucher for a free copy of the Blu-Ray experience or some sort of memorabilia from the show such as a program, actual tickets or anything else produced that's going to be trashed when the show closes down.

Fifth: Auction off the costumes and set pieces that some collectors will pay through the gills for and use most of those profits to pay back any investors who haven't been taken care of.

Finally: Everyone from Taymor to Bono and the Edge and all the now bruised and battered actors should go home and nurse those even more bruised egos and big dreams of getting something on stage that was beyond the physical means of some humans to perform... Of course, they all COULD just go to Japan and have them do the entire show with those damn dancing and singing robots... but I don't want to give anyone any more lousy ideas...

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